88 Heroine

A heroine is a woman admired for her courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. Someone who is venerated within the public’s opinion; adored and revered by a majority. If one is a legacy hunter – one will search them out. But in truth, every woman goes through depression, bouts of unkindness and general tragedy. It is neither comedic nor a drama, but a tragedy for any girl, lady, or woman to lose her father, as they will tell you, themselves.

So, is she looking for a hero herself? Is that a part of the spasmodic dream? She may have irregular bursts of visions of a knight in shining armour, arriving on a thoroughbred Arabian horse, picking her up in his arms and riding off into the sunset. There is an element of this in everyone’s life as we grow-up with fairy-tales, of princes and princesses living tranquil lives. Without doubt there is never a stoical prince who must regrettably accept a fleeting princess. No, in fact, the upturn, the prince always gets his blushing bride.

Can life be a fairy-tale? Mine has been so far, along with ‘The Three Billy Goats Gruff’, ‘The Ugly Duckling’ and ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’: which all epitomise what it is like to be as a child, the odd one out – just like me. It surmises that once a little more grown up, you have your say, you have control and without doubt you can have dreams come true, as long as you try hard enough to believe in them. For in those fairy-tales they receive, safety, beauty and gold, respectively, once adversity is over. The heroine in us always arrives after the credits of the scary movie though.

The seclusion of struggle adds to the inner strength that your heroine went through herself. The pace at which one becomes a hero or heroine themselves, is based on socio-economic upbringing, as much as: dedication, determination, organisation, dreams and inclusion at a milder age. There is no justice in how much one must struggle, and adhere to discomfort, until the call of a husband or wife comes along, just at the right time.

Do you remember the first time you fell in love? The first touch, the colliding, star-crossed and unrequited love pours from the heart. The second time; sometimes the better – the unwritten, tender hearts inter-twine, and you suddenly let go of all the baggage you brought to the fore, in the first. You move on through relationships, always comparing the next partner to the last or best encounter, once you have lost them. When one searches for a lifelong partner, those early relationships stay with us and we take various incarnations to find, new loving bliss again.

There is room for improvement in finding a heroine, by a need and desire to find a true friend in them first. This, of course, is right for anyone and I don’t doubt loneliness adds to this truth, when large groups of friends begin to travel, move-on and dissipate into the ether; until we recourse to gain from the moment our ‘one’ true love arrives. Our remedy is to touch them, both metaphorically and physically, so that we long for that next encounter of bliss. A partner of longevity and construction is far more important than a heroine. Yet they become heroic, in expedience of making you whole, in all extremes of circumstance.

The heart is a lonely hunter. The hunter in us, makes one think, we do not need a heroine, we need a partner. Because all that hunting has caused the fragility of instant attraction: so media led these days, rather than getting to know someone well enough to live with them. So, what is it we are looking for? Someone of a similar height, build, and constitution. Someone who has had a similar upbringing. Someone who has similar tastes – there is a love in sharing. Someone who is, attractive in our minds and we all have our beautiful moments. So, we need to make our lives, in the wealth of our own knowing, someone who is intellectually compatible and who is therefore, very similar to us. That is not to say we won’t try to search for what we lack, but granted it mostly fails. Be careful not to use the criteria of your present emotional ties to deicide. We also need to consider, emotional maturity, openness, honesty, respect, sensitivity, independence, empathy, physical affection, happiness, and to be happy living in each other’s pockets.

The price to pay for a hero or heroine, is that one will always rely on them to act that bit more the hero most of the time, and there is no seriousness or reality to it. It is one sided and dangerously unbalanced, to rely on one member of the relationship to save the other. They can become a pin-up, which leads to decidedly provocative behaviour, about which they are subjected to being, an object. As receiver and hero, both parties are surreal to each other and therefore, there is no subjectivity in disagreements, but confrontation and conflict.

There is no mighty end to this argument, other than along the road there will be acts of heroics on both parties. There will be bravery, no-one is too sure of ill-health and its burgeoning surprise. So, it takes a responsible adult to marry another responsible adult, in order to find a partner, and to leave the heroics of legacy behind. There are enough fair weathered friends to go around, and when we find the ‘one’: is to know we have someone, for which we love all their little intricacies, to care for them and be cared by them, and therefore, we are complete. It is definitely a partner over a heroine.

FP

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