109 Understand
Understand & Overstand:
It is a curse not to understand, all this godly will, all these pervasive serendipitous anomalies to Christ, and buttering up brown bread, because all the meat has gone. No, we should be vegan! So, how do we grow our own vegetables in the City?
How do we find again and again that sensation? That one there, it is on the map “darling”. The philanthropic collapse. When we were broke, and we used to be exuberant? I fell for a gorgeous girl – named harmony. Well, that is not her name – but otherwise we would be here for all manner of presumptive reasoning. “Don’t worry darling”, it is just time ticking by. The nobility of the Shrew, is all we have ever had, and who knows whether we will make it as a nobleman, even if persuaded by inveiglement; flattery is so potted. Sometimes like Polly and her peculiarity, is her attraction, we need parity; even levelness itself – so, sometimes the poly wins over the mono and we just want to express our hard work in the best universality. We want to believe you God, but you are not always there. Sometimes even the repetition of the bible feels prosaic when it was based on an ancient story, it seems deftly abstract from our very nature. Pompeii then, the way forwards, and we understand if it were for that giant phallic object in mosaic. To keep the soul comforted and inside us, so, Lord, you lead the way. And you do in all righteousness. It is not just a bigger phallic object to hypnotise and dispel them – they will love you all the same. Or will they? Is there an ultimate dream we can aspire to that is both of hedonism: merely the will to seek pleasure, and something moral? Yet, that pleasure is deemed as subordinate to the state of our health. Is morality hedonistic itself, to burn and repair? Where for art thou God? In Heaven I know? And they despised the lot. They got what they wanted. Someone to blame, not to be exposed for the position, of well, just having nothing to say in their heads. After all we can all cope. There is hope for everyone. “It is not what I meant, well, I mean I do not own a gun! Honestly! This has got to stop. The kiss me quick, truth or dare? You seem to be manipulating me with your eyes . . . How come? I am just not that kind.”
There are day’s in the week we feel we should really break down and cry, but it is just not enough. Maybe everything is so perfect: we are at the end of a creative era, searching for more than just realm like cynicism. We just need attention against boredom; care, and love. Some of us I know, and I understand, hate to be cared for, losing our independence, and becoming dependent; it is an ugly game - life at times. We must stand up for ourselves and never let someone past, who goes against our will of judgement, done with love it will relieve the pressure.
There is great patience in prayer, but a fortitude of problems when no-one else agrees. You may pray for money – something a lot of people forget, who do not understand. God most likely – if you believe – is known to ask you for one special gift from him, to see you through the worst of times. I asked for ‘the power of God’, and that is what I received. Is that the reason for my initial divergence, to take it to my head? Maybe not – there was a time – completely abstract from today’s lives, that said: “certain people remember what they asked for because of creation”, to make the World, but a satire. “Is it not that God disagrees with this?” I am not sure. But it is certainly not wholesome or pure. It is truly a case of the spirit of the worst sarcastic pull on the World. It is political, so what has politics become? But a bull in a China shop, at least of yesteryear, as we start to see change in our brilliant government. So, some still pick up a bull and ride them home. Now there is still space for sexual prose: “It was so graceful to see you relieve that bottom off the chair and into bed, for the touch and caress of a nipple and a heaving bosom. Your curves show your gorgeous nature, the tired lines on your eyes tell me your mine. And your back arches just that bit more when you ride me on top.” But to ride a bull-frog home is just trite.
So where is love? Lord? If not to love yourself first. How does one understand oneself? Is it to be brutally honest of your opinion, or to use tact? Both together – combined are reasonable, but more tact than honesty. Because everyone is warped in the eyes of another at some time in their life. Until all is understood. So, those being honest may not highly regard polite intention. One can do certain things:
Use a principle of pleasure, and therefore, beget happiness as a principle of life.
To make joy with friends, to imagine your ‘Action Board’ coming into fruition – even if it is only a built-up bricolage, of an aesthetic to inspire one’s work.
Or write a successful book, enhance one’s credentials and continue entertaining.
Or, to see the light of God, to play with the healing angels, and to pray.
To enjoy the time of one’s mother and father. To feel inspired by siblings.
To enjoy food, and to go about one’s business with a good deal of confidence and a heart.
Thinking of someone who stimulates you into action who never gives up on you.
To give up smoking and to study your chosen profession.
To visit other lands and fall in love with a woman, or man.
To stay offline and feel remarkable.
To cry if we must, to feel satisfied and see life as a blessing.
To remember all the lovely people, to go to the theatre and to enjoy the ballet.
To give-up vaping, to stay clean and cope.
To feel love and passion.
If one lacks self-love there are a thousand and one things you can do. So, get over excited to balance that emotion. Are you a jealous person? I have candour. People should be naturally good at understanding me in a lot of areas. When I feel, misunderstood I like to be in the company of a friend, for support. I have communication and trust. Morality is the single most important issue of the hour, if not the age? How we deal with ourselves and our loved ones. How we try to cope with pressure in a mature adult way. I have always been granted freedom to tell others how I feel. Not always kindly, and too hard to get a grip on how contentment can be lived out with few resources. To stop emotional blocks from getting us down and building walls instead of bridges from those we feel mistrust us, and so we in turn, mistrust them, through a lack of communication. Just tell yourself: “drugs – done that – and it flattened me out, they just seem to stop me from expressing who I am all of the time.” If you are insistently cheery, you have not been avowed and confirmed for who you are.
It is a curse not to understand.
Love AB x
