273 Existence
273_Existence
We exist to age.
Have you ever felt obliged to ask yourself, why do I exist? Then a moment of dread, and damnation that inside me is utter turmoil, and I was never meant to be born, with no purpose, cornered and belittled in our heads. All made up of course, but true to us in so many ways when we tend to go through this passage of thought from our teens into adulthood.
The hate burns over the pan, into a deluge of emptiness, there is nothing left but a seared smell of burnt milk, or whatever we were cooking at the time, and we are dumbfounded as to how we will get the stain off. Lemon juice, on a low heat should lift the stain, once soaked in cold water after a rolling simmer.
Burning seems to cause our lack of existence, in a direct and sexual way. Causing tobacco to accumulate, as a by product in the lungs, marijuana going to our fish-eye heads and wanking until we are soaped and dry.
These practices can cause suicidal thoughts, but that is the worst way to die, and after all we are here to learn, not burn. The delusion of burning makes us invincible and free of self-doubt, causing procrastination, and harm to ourselves, the exact opposite to what we intended.
We act like dummies, experimenting on our bodies, until we force the words, out/ “Sorry Lord, please may I be forgiven?” And when you are clean, never go back there. We are fire and ice, constantly intoxicating ourselves to avoid problems of our past, shyness, reclusiveness, and unable to put our point on our purpose we set out as children, then don’t doubt it, but make it happen as you always intended, get out that list of things you wanted to teach and achieve.
A cheapened environment, of course, exacerbates the problem, so work on it, and keep yourself to yourself until achieved. Otherwise, you are a failure in systemic eyes and either deluded or caught out in the thrust of cold ice dogma, to the self.
Your made-up story seemed well-founded, but suddenly the bottom falls out, and apologies are required, with statutory law over our heads, and you are in easy reach of salvaging yourself from the rubble, and continuing like it never happened in the first place. Forgiving your heart, will stop the evil creeping up inside, and you survive another day.
Bob Marley famously chose euthanasia, riddled with cancer, in Switzerland, while smoking and standing up for civil rights, but will never be forgotten. But there is your warning sign. Take it easy and make life easier to understand, to make sense of and achieve.
It is a wasters game, smoking, and never allow your children the chance to start, keep a careful eye, on what they do, and what they lie about, growing up. Of course they are individuals, but they are always your responsibility.
So, to give up, state to yourself how many you are going to smoke and stick to your plan, not influenced by friends. And start to slow down, and let go, and reduce each time over a given year of trying. Even in months one can achieve a no-smoking habit.
Smoking opens up the brain to electronic voice recognition (evr), delusions, and black thoughts, famously quoted/ “realm”. But do not believe in voices, you will get in a tangle and waste even more time, take people as they come, and expect your World to start improving.
Be positive, it tends to be the proletariat that is expected to smoke, but most likely even the aristocracy, of money making enjoy, it is called stress.
It is a constant chemical balance to decide how much more you need, and that is not helpful, until you put it down, and realise how much you can achieve without it. The plateau is a headache, constantly finding you are doing nothing with your time. So, say to yourself, “I will STOP!”.
A modern edge, is what promotes, the habit, and music does not help, it’s the old-fashioned way that used to cheer us up. Music, these days is so dystopian with hate for the World, I do wonder when we will all heal? I pray in my lifetime. So make stability in your mind, that smoking will delude you into another paradigm, that just follows the herd.
When you finally age, no-one wants to look like a shrivelled prune, and with smoke, that is what you can look forward to, no emotion, but desperation, and no feeling, but numbness. Take that bitterness away and promise today you will STOP! And give up.
One day you want to have healthy children, and you do not want them to end up as you have, so change your ways, otherwise you are murdering yourself and them. It is so ironic, that you think that is cool. Get back to real love.
Reality awaits you at the station of hope!
AMEN
LOVE AB X
